Category Archives: death and dying

Black Friday

Posted on December 7, 2017 by Barbara McAfee

I am writing this blog on Thanksgiving Day. Tomorrow is Black Friday, a day when many Americans succumb to consumer frenzy and stampeding greed. I never think about shopping on Black Friday. I think about black ice and a semi-truck … Continue reading →

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Day of the Dead — in August

Posted on August 17, 2017 by Barbara McAfee

On August 8, 1991 my father, Willis Robert McAfee, Jr., died in my arms after a very short illness with pancreatic cancer. I’ve written a lot about that experience in the intervening years — in this blog, song and poetry. … Continue reading →

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Death Songs

Posted on May 18, 2017 by Barbara McAfee

My friend Jeannie and I are at a Sweet Honey in the Rock concert in St. Paul, Minnesota. One of the group’s founding members, Ysaye Barnwell, steps to center stage and sings what she calls her “death song.” It expresses … Continue reading →

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Oh For Goodness Sake – Stand At My Grave and Weep Already!

Posted on February 18, 2016 by Barbara McAfee

Death has been visiting my life a lot in this past year. During those times, I have frequently heard Mary Elizabeth Frye’s well-known poem, “Do No Stand At My Grave and Weep.” This morning as I was lolling abed, I … Continue reading →

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A Blessing for Entering Hospice

Posted on February 4, 2016 by Barbara McAfee

My beloved friend Jim is nearly 92 years old. His mind is sharp and keen though his vision, hearing, and mobility are weaker every day. Jim doesn’t have a major illness. He’s just losing energy and appetite. A few weeks … Continue reading →

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A Death is Born Into Your Life

Posted on November 27, 2015 by Barbara McAfee

I sat next to R. at a community sing the other night. Her mother died several months ago and she is still in the raw grief of it all. Many of the songs called forth her tears and she looked … Continue reading →

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Falling Silent

Posted on September 11, 2015 by Barbara McAfee

As a voice coach and singer, I pay unusual attention to voices. I cherish the cadences, rhythms, and sounds that I hear in the voices of my family members and friends. Each one is completely unique. Each one lingers in … Continue reading →

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This Is When I Think of You – A Meditation for Fellow Caregivers

Posted on February 5, 2015 by Barbara McAfee

Yes, you. My fellow caregiver. I think of you most often as I walk out of Mom’s senior living place. Perhaps it is 9:45 p.m. on a frigid winter night. I worked all day and then drove the half-hour journey … Continue reading →

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Conscious Dying: The Story of Jack

Posted on January 8, 2015 by Barbara McAfee

Jack and I were at the YMCA Christmas tree lot in the dark chill of a December night. His breath plumed among the pine branches as he laughed about his recent visit to the orthopedic surgeon. “During my pre-op visit … Continue reading →

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When I Die….

Posted on November 30, 2011 by Barbara McAfee

I recently wrote my “death song.”  I’m in fine health, thank you. The opening lines are: “When I die, I know there’ll be singing By my friends all gathered around. As their sweet voices fade behind me, I will join … Continue reading →

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